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    Best Bumper Stickers and/or Tee shirt and coffee cup sayings:

    • I’m not short, I’m FUN size!
    • Don’t MAKE me call my flying monkeys!
    • Let me drop everything and work on your problem.
    • Be careful or you will end up in my novel!
    • In Dog Beers, I’ve only had one!
    • Growing old is mandatory, Growing up is optional
    • Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the he_ _ happened!
    • I’ll have a Cafe-Moch-Vodka-Valium-Latte to go please.
    • Destined for greatness, but I’m pacing myself.
    • She who must be obeyed!
    • I’m retired and you are not!  Nah-Nah-Nah-Na-Na!
    • Geezer, formally known as Stud Muffin
    • DILLIGARA! (Do I look like I give a rat’s a_ _?)
    • I’m am soooooo old I can…laugh, cough, sneeze and pee at the same time.
    • When in doubt, mumble!
    • One cat short of crazy cat lady!
    • I used to care, now I take a pill for  that…
    • I will keep pretending to work as long as they keep pretending to pay me…
    • I AM retired, but I will work part time as a "pain in the a_ _!
    • Sarcasm, just one more service I provide.
    • I have CDO, it’s like OCD, but all the letters are in order like they should be.
    • So far, this is the oldest I’ve ever been

    YOUR TURN!!! 


    "I fought the lawn and the lawn lost".  It’s quite appropriate for me because I have a lawn so large that it takes me 4 1/2 hours to mow it with a 56" wide mower deck!  When I saw the shirt, I bought it for myself!!!


    so you need a big yard!  Ever thought about sheep or goats to graze?  4 and 1/2 hours saved and their tummy’s full! 


    My favorite is ‘Put your big girl panties on and deal with it!’  ‘If Momma ain’t happy, ain’t NNOOOOBODY happy’.


    I bought a birthday card for my ex-husband the year we got divorced but liked the card too much to send it to him.

    Outside: For your birthday I wanted to give you something you’d have forever

    Inside:   But it’s hard to giftwrap herpes.



    I may not agree with your bumper sticker but I’ll defend to my death your right to stick it!

    My favorite t-shirt is one my kids gave me quite a few years ago.  On the front it said, 39 and holding.  On the back, …and holding and holding and holding…

    I saw one once that I had to think about for a minute.  It’s kinda nasty.  It said:  It’s just an expression, you don’t really blow on it.  It made me laugh.




    I seen a sign on a desk once that said, You don’t have to be crazy to work here, we’ll train you!


    effort that you have to put in to keeping them is way more than I want to handle. I love my hours on the mower because everyone knows not to bother Mom unless there is blood or bones protruding!!! :-)

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