Tony and Lexie opposed their father’s way most of the time. One time Lexie went with him and that was when the guy was killed at Stefano’s door and Sami saw the killer. So, what did Stefano (maybe EJ too) do? Tried to have her killed. Sorry, EJ spent too much time worshipping the ways of "Father" and therefore has taken on too many of his evil traits for him to be a permanent match for Sami as far as I am concerned.
I don’t dislike EJ, just don’t want him with Sami! They have too much bad history! Faking his daughter’s kidnapping is just plain horrible! He had Sydney in his life for a long time before he thought she wasn’t his blood and threw her out. Sami had her for a day or so? And, then he has her taken away so he can eventually pretend to be the hero and ransom her?
As to the actor, he does the job of evil well. The only thing I find hard to watch is the blinking he does and I think it may be that he is just sensitive to the studio lights or has dry eyes (not his fault).